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111: CONVERSATION WITH YOUNG LION


To the young lion,

A month gone; I turned a year older. I’ve grown up in a household not big on birthdays. I called my parents to tell them the good news (my birthday). They acted indifferent, like they’ve always. My mum promised to send me ‘something small’, I’m yet to receive it. My dad laughed on the phone, his laughter roaring over the connection like thunder. He chided me a bit, I don’t remember what else we talked about, but somebody hung up.


After my two saviours deserted me, I thought of how I was going to spend the day. A birthday is a milestone, a celebration, a party of life. I slung a leso over my shoulder, carried a small package and headed out for a picnic. A solitary picnic.


I arrived at this deserted field and spread out my leso. Around me, emptiness ruled. Scattered scrubs and bushes made their stand. Last light fast approached; elongated shadows of distant trees cut across my sun kissed face. The final rays of the sun glowed on me, they tasted sweet and fulfilling. I opened my package and spilt its contents on the leso. That’s how I was going to spend my birthday, curled on a leso, watching the sun go down. We’d planned, with my best boy, to jump on a train and skip town for a week, but Covid -19 had other plans. Sitting there, the sun on my face, I thought of how reality is a shape shifting monster. There’s nothing like reality. Only chaos and order.


I picked a lighter and set substance X ablaze. I dragged at substance X and watched the world around me transform into a theatre of disorder. Was that the true world? or my artificial creation? Particles seemed enlarged. I felt huge and small. Fire and water. I was a hurricane, a sweeping storm. I was formless. Trees danced. Birds flew by in grand circles, sentinels of the mammoth sky. Clouds bubbled and enlarged with possibility. What lay beyond them? Were they gods, watching my little picnic and thinking, “what a crazy fella?”

 

Awakening from my trip, a furious saga I can’t explain to ends, the sun had vanished. I thought of my life. Places I’ve been to, people I’ve met. Things I’ve done, good and ill. My dreams popped up, things I want to do. The kind of man I’m becoming. All of it flashed in front of me like an endless time lapse. In that moment, I felt joyful and wonderful. It was good to be alive, breathing, thinking. I felt as if I was part of something bigger than myself. And my sojourn here on earth is a voyage I wasn’t a captain of. A higher power leads my way, because after reflecting on my life, there are things I can’t explain. I don’t desire to understand them. The mystery is good. It’s the unknown which gets us up in the morning.


Like a yogi, I curled my long legs on the purple leso. In the tainted evening light, I harnessed my thoughts, of things I’ve learnt about life. In my brief stay, from my youthful observation outpost, here are my confessions.

 

Family is everything

As a kid, I was extremely naughty. I messed up things, pulled pranks on visitors. This got me in trouble, my parents would give me ass whoopings. After I had been punished, I would hide in my room and swear not to come out. I would refuse to eat and my family did not give two shits, they would eat and go sleep. I would think of my ‘terrible’ parents, “how could they punish me? Me, a last born?” I would think of running away from home and living in the streets.  Sometimes I would entertain thoughts of dying. “There’s absolutely no need to live!” That was the ten-year-old Osoch Ogun speaking.

 

In hindsight, I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood. Amidst the tears and laughs, my parents sowed seeds of stoicism, which have made me everything I am becoming. Without the ass whoopings, I would have turned out differently, no doubt. Thank you for the whoopings.


Lately, I’ve been thinking of how a person belongs? Finding your heritage, finding people who will be with you in happiness and sadness. First, you belong in your heart, and then there’s family.


The more I grow older, the more I appreciate my family and be grateful for having them. I try to call up my parents daily. My Mum, the conversation always ends this way. “I love you Mum, bye.”  I struggle to use the word ‘love’ in my sentences, but with her, it’s second nature, I don’t have to think about it. With my Dad, the phrase ‘I love you’, is nowhere in our banks of vocabulary. We are men. Lions. I love the old geezer, but would I tell him that, no, it would be so awkward. So, my language of love to him is spending time with him, listening to his absurd stories and little gifts.


I know this won’t go on forever. At some point, one of us is going to check out of this world. Our little utopia will be shattered. The knowledge of the impending end, makes me cherish these moments more. Because when doom hits, all we’ll be left with will be nostalgic memories that will make our noses wet.

 

Work & Purpose

For a man to eat, he must work. That phrase lies somewhere in the bible. It’s also the defining theme of the Bhagavad Gita. I’ve also realised, that to live an engaging life, free from pointless thoughts and noise, you need to find something which engages you in totality. A thing which swallows you up, a thing which crushes you, makes you feel small in your localness. A thing, in which, you lose track of time. Hours can go by and you’ll be stuck in your desk doing it.


Strive to find that thing. Only when you find it, can you work with purpose and conviction. Only when you’re doing something which makes your heart pump and your breath eager, can you be free from the tragedy that is life. Because you realise that life an endless tragedy, suffering and the only way to transcend all of this is to embrace it. As Jordan Peterson says, “do some difficult things and do them well and you justify your miserable existence.”

Enjoy your struggle and you transcend it.

 

I’ve been lucky to manage to lose myself in everything I do. In the past, I struggled with doing. I literary had to force myself to do things. But these days, for some reason I can’t explain, I just do. I don’t even think about it. I sit at my desk and words pour into the laptop. I pick a camera and photos take themselves. I grab a book and only darkness will remind me that I need to find food. What was conscious effort is now unconscious flow.  Maybe there’s science behind all this, I don’t know. I feel my alive, I have my part to play in the world, and I am always looking forward to each day.

 

Solitude & Friendship

I am a loner. Since childhood, I have always enjoyed my own company. And to this day, I love my own company. See, I like being around people, watching them and their shenanigans, but I would rather be in the house, alone, lighting candles, meditating and watching weird documentaries.


And I think to fully grasp the self, one needs to spend time with oneself. Those moments when you’re alone in the house, walking around, naked, lost in your silence, realization happens. Only in solitude can you understand yourself, know what you want, what you don’t like. And ultimately, set the commandments for your life.

 

In spite of all this, have friends. I wasn’t keen on friendship before, because I thought of it as always being around each other, something I can’t stand. But after being with people who radiate similar energy, I realize it’s possible to cultivate friendships. And friendships are good, it’s fantastic to have someone whom you can call in the middle of the night and they will come to your aid.


There’s this chap I’ve spent a lot of time with this year. He doesn’t read my blog, thankfully. We’ve grown close, we share similar perspectives on many areas in life. And we’ve spent lots of moments together.  We help each other where we can. We’ve had our fights, nasty fights. He wants this, I want that. I learn that friendships include compromising, finding the middle ground.


If you’re reading this and you’re feeling alone, don’t worry. Worrying never helps. Stay grounded. Keep working on yourself and when the time is right, you will find your tribe. Someone out there wants to interact with someone like you. That someone might not be me, but there’s someone, always.

 

Mentors

Iron sharpens iron. An offering from a sage and a king is more than silver and gold. So, the saying goes. A man will be shaped by the men around him. And the only way to grow is to surround yourself with people who can help you in the journey of development. Only folks who’ve walked the fire know how it burns.


Young brother, find yourself a mentor. I’ve been lucky to know older chaps who I talk to when stuck. If it were not for them, I don’t think I’ll be who I am. In their own little ways, they’ve played their part in forging me.


One of the mentors has taught me a lot about human interaction. I realized how relationships work. Years back, he opened my eyes on how to deal with women. Without his guidance, I would still be a bumbling buffoon. You see, get a mentor.

 

The other chap is an ivy league graduate. He’s into business and coming up with solutions. I met him by chance and it’s been a great journey. He challenges me to be better every day, always keeping yours truly on his toes. One evening we were having a drink at Newscafe and he shouts over the cacophony of human sounds. “Osoch, don’t ever tell me that something is impossible. You say that and I stop hanging out with you.”

 

That brief sentence was a caution and a reminder, that everything is possible. When time allows it, we meet and chat. Our conversations circle around what I’m reading, the progress I’m making with my life, what he’s reading, how his businesses are coming along. We talk about world politics and argue about leftist and right-wing ideologies.

 

These two chaps are about thirteen years my senior, and in their small way, they’re my guiding lights in these murky waters of life. Conversing with them has made me view the world in a different light. Suddenly, everything is possible. I can’t thank them enough.

 

You don’t have time

As Bikozulu writes, “time is sand in the wind, it will dissolve, literally.”  You don’t have time, that you planned to do tomorrow, start today, only today matters. Tomorrow, like the past, doesn’t belong to you.

 

Make money

“Money is not everything, but it’s the only thing which people count.”   _Dan Pena

 

 

Forget deodorants

A cold shower in the morning is all you need. You will be fresh the whole day. Furthermore, it increases your sperm count and makes your system alkaline. And true men, real men, pure men, don’t bathe with hot water. Hot water was invented for women, children and weak men (pussies). Show me your grit, soldier!

 

 

Women

Ahem!!! Some fat and ugly feminist (a 120-kilo land whale), is going to read this and ask why women come in last on the roster. Well, young brother, women should be last on your list of priorities. The only women you should worry about are those in your family, your mother, sisters etc. Forget about the rest, they don’t matter.


Is this luck? Anyway, for reasons I don’t understand, I’ve interacted with lots of women. I’ve slept with some. I’ve fooled around with many. Actually, I can’t start to recall how many women I’ve fooled with, I’ll develop a migraine. Does this make me a better man? A Superman? Am I more fulfilled because of rolling with a couple chicks? No. Only that I’ve been at the right place at the right time.


Thus, young brother, you wonder, “How do I get women?”. First, bury that thought, you don’t get women. Women get you. Women are smart and devious, irrational and calculating, if she likes you, desires you, she will come to you. If you’re thinking of blowing money to attract women, you’re only hurting your bank account. Does money pull women? Yes, it does, but if a woman comes to you because of your money, she’s not worth your while. Pump and dump baby. Pump and dump! Some very macho chap said to me one evening, “I ejaculate and evacuate!”


If you do this, don’t feel invisible. Don’t think that you’re the ultimate player. Women are players too, nasty players. There are women who will bang you silly and disappear. It’s going to hurt your ego when a woman you’ve banged ghosts you, don’t worry. If she wants more, she’ll come back. If you did a shady job, rest assured you won’t see her messages flashing on your phone, ever. What does that mean? Protect the good name of the patriarchy. Fuck these bitches to sleep! Give her the doshi till she can’t take it no more.


So, young brother, back to getting women? Mind your business. Focus on yourself and what you want out of life. Build the best you. The women will come in legions, like schools of fish, they’ll be stumbling on your doorway. Money is a means, but not the end. It can get you to the door but not in the house, you feel me? To harvest the honey, you need a different skill set, confidence. Yes, calm confidence. Don’t go around bullying people and claim that you’re confident. No! Can you be grounded in your own energy? Women can sniff that a mile away. And they light on it.

 

And so, you will ask. “Master Osoch? There are many women in my life. How do I handle them?


To that I say. Guard your sexual energy jealously. Sexual energy is about 25% of all the energy we possess, according to Mantak Chia. So, don’t go around shagging every chick you can. Some women don’t deserve to be banged by you. You will drain that energy yet you can use it in different areas of your life. As such, enjoy a good fuck once in a while, not all the time. Sex is life, but too much of it will make your life miserable. Don’t get attached to sex. It’s not worth it.

 

And you will ask again. “Master Osoch, ati I shouldn’t not chase women? I should let them come to me?


To that I say, never chase. It’s a waste of time, energy and resources. In the end, it’s not worth it. See, I’ve been a victim of this. In my younger and vulnerable years, I chased chicks, when they finally thawed down and we got to business, I realised they weren’t worth the chase. It’s simple, if a woman is interested, she will make herself available.


Does that mean you should not approach women? No. Do approach women. By nature, women are reserved souls, few women have the guts to approach you. So, make the approach. Trust me, before you approach a chick, she’s already sampled you out. If she wants anything to do with you, she will talk, if she doesn’t, she will tell you to fuck off. And fuck off. Don’t be the sucker who hangs around, trying to charm your way into her pants, you won’t.


I’ll repeat, if a woman wants to bang you, she will at her own time. You don’t have to jump through rings of fire. See, human mating is similar to lions, do you watch Nat geo? Go see how lions interact sexually, the male lion, all mighty, brute and powerful, never gets the coochie till the lioness is ready. That’s how human sexuality works too. She will bang you when she wants to bang you. You have no say, so relax, have a banana and peanuts.

 

Some women will want to milk you dry: the story of a city stripper

One time, I accompanied a businessman chap to negotiate a deal. We met his contact in a strip club deep in Nairobi west. Was on a Monday, few patrons around, the strippers were not busy. As the two old lions got down to business, I sauntered around the joint.


I got talking to one stripper.


She was in her late twenties, mildly beautiful. She’d spent the better part of her twenties hopping through entertainment spots. She made her money fulfilling the fantasies of sexually deprived men. I asked her what she’d learnt about men?


“Men are little children.” She said.


I looked at her straight in the eyes, she stared back. Her eyes glowed like those of a marauding wolf. There was a toughness you couldn’t miss, it was a vacant stare, she gave me. I saw only a vast emptiness.


“Women are children too, irrational,” I said, hoping to counter. She laughed and shook her Brazilian weave. She winked at me, “buy me a beer.” And so, I bought her a beer. She proceeded to tell the story of a man pursuing her.


The chap was an officer in the Kenyan military. One of those chaps with a rank, who other soldiers have to salute when he walks by. This chap wanted to take her off the trade and wife her. He was ready to do anything to land her. He gave her expensive tips, took her for extravagant dates and spoilt her silly with cash gifts.


“Will you marry him?”


“Naah, he’s too boring.”


“What’s the end game?”


“I want him to buy me a car and a farm in Kiserian and we are done.”


“Have you slept with him?”


“No.”


I laughed. She laughed.


“Is there a guy you like? other than these folks you dance for?” I waved my right arm in the air.


She smiled, blushed. “Of course, there is, I wouldn’t ask him for money though.”

 

I sighed. I thought of the military chap and felt sorry for him.


 An arm curled around my muscled shoulder; a voice boomed. “Enough boy, lets go.”  My friend had concluded his meeting. In the parking lot, as we reversed into the solid night, I narrated the story of the stripper. His eyes on the road, he quoted Robert Crumb. “The only power women have over men is sex.” A man in control of his urges rises above the madness.


The lesson is simple, most men are held at ransom by sex. Don’t be most men. Never allow a woman to lord her sexuality over you. But do visit a strip club before you die. And oh, if a woman cheats on you, dump her! Don’t waste time, ati sijui “working things out.” Once she cheats, that’s it.

 

In light of all this, there are few good women out here. If you meet one, hold on to her, they are gems and rare.

 

Night had long fallen when I concluded my solitary party. I drained the can of beer and packed up my little package. I dragged at substance X once more and walked home. Night wind whistled furiously against my body, threatening to carry me away to a faraway world. But I remained steady on the pathway to my hovel. Stars were up that night. I stared long at the sky and thought, “Thank you God for this life. I can’t ask for more.”


And thus, young lion, farewell, my time here is done, my purpose complete.  Follow these simple commandments and you will find happiness.

 

Small announcements

1.     1Guess what age I turned in the comment section and get a signed copy of my upcoming book.

2.    2. The photos in this story were shot on a Nikon D7100 and edited on VISCO.

3.    3. If Covid -19 was to kill you today, what would you regret not have done? Comment anonymously, nobody wants to know you.

4. The girl model is a fun chick I know, check out her blog thefashion2cents.com

22 comments:

  1. 1.23 years

    3.I will regret of not finishing a project am working on

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You need not regret, you can keep at it, slowly no hurry.

      Delete
    2. Great.

      You turned 23 if am not wrong,...I need that book ASAP

      Delete
  2. i guess you have turned 29 years,i need that signed book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Way off the mark, but you'll get your signed book.

      Delete
  3. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are old enough if you got all these lessons..so it doesn't matter how many years you've been around...the book is mine still.

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  5. It is hard to guess your age since I have not seen you physically.Secondly this article is interesting and informative.Any man that abides by those commandments cannot be swayed whatsoever

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  6. Articles are fire my brother sublime work.

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  7. Turning 20 i presume

    ReplyDelete
  8. Turning 20/21
    Still waiting to exchange the books
    Master Osoch. I believe in old souls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. email me your contact at momanyiosoro133@gmail.com

      Delete
  9. You must be about 24 now😁

    ReplyDelete

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