HOME IS A CASTLE OF STORIES

GOODBYE

I have been seeing your messages. They've been coming to me in moments of loneliness. When I was in trenches of little hope. When the heavens seemed to be making machinations against me, and I stupidly replied. Hoping that maybe we could have an engaging conversation. That maybe, I could get to know you more. I prayed that I could change you from a money chasing monster into a lifetime friend or lover. That I could make you mine. You can't blame me really, I was lonely, I'm still lonely, like a despondent island in the high seas.

Do I need you in my life? I am not sure. See, we're humans and we're all wired towards love and companionship. But then I'm never going to stoop so low. I'm not going to smear my heart through mud in the name of love. Love is good, it makes life easier, bearable but some loves are just too toxic.

Sweetie, goodbye. Someday in the future, I hope you will find peace in my departing. Who knows, our stars may align. And will meet again. Maybe then, we can love. A love as mystic as the sun. A love which will be more than love. For now though, it's my wish you find someone who can tolerate your messages. A person who will accept you for who you're, a money monster.  A negro who won't judge you. How I failed in that.

Anyway, nice times and may God of Moses bless you.

Dearest.

I leave now, I packed my bags yesterday. But before, here is a small gift to you and your fellow online marketers.

A small kaletter.

Dear AIM GLOBAL marketers, I hope this missive finds you well. How are you doing? Have you made 15k -20k  today?? Will you go party at Kiza lounge?? Do I care? Fuck no! This is because I know you're lying. Sugar coating your lousy words so that you could suck me in your circle. But guess what, I can see through your mask, through your wiles. Deep down, I know you're broke like me. Okay, maybe you have money but if your account was full, you wouldn't be sending me messages of how to make money. It's just a ludicrous operation. I'm not judging you, only saying that it just doesn't add up. Doesn't make any motherfucking sense.

Look at Jimmy Wanjigi, or Chris Kirubi those homeboys are freaking rich. They rake in millions in a day or a week. But have you ever heard them sending mass text messages.

Like.

"I AM JIMMY WANJIGI FROM MUTHAIGA. I RUN A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS EMPIRE. ARE YOU YOUNG?? DO YOU HAVE A SMARTPHONE OR LAPTOP?? ARE YOU LOCATED IN NAIROBI AND IT'S ENVIRONS?? COME I SHOW YOU HOW TO MAKE 15-20 MILLION IN A MONTH."

Rich people never share secrets on how they got there. They will tell you to curve out your own path. And that's how the system works, so I don't believe any of that shit you post. That you're going to change my life, my life is just fine. All I'm waiting for is Angles to sound the trumpets and I will be off to heaven. To sit by God's feet and sing, "wimbo wa Musa na kondoo." (Song of Moses and his sheep.)

Honey, if your online business has so much money. Why do you people at AIM GLOBAL have this one car which you employ for all your photoshoots. I mean, you make about 15k -20k a day. That's roughly about 600k a month. Holy shit! You make more than a medical doctor. That's the  salary of about three doctors combined. But here you are doing Photoshop on photos of expensive rides. Ti hi hi!  Kwanza, let me blunt. Your Photoshop skills are so lousy. Please do employ a specialist to help you with that, I mean you make over 600k a month. Your Photoshop should be nice at least. But then, don't take it too far. Tell  those homegirls to be realistic. Sometime back I saw this pic on Facebook with a wonderful caption.

"I am Nancy from Global internet Fortunes let me show how to make 50k in a week... Blah blah." I'm sorry Nancy, your picture was of the very top quality. It could easily pass for a Mutua Matheka shot. But then, you messed. In your futile attempts to impress us, somehow you were sitting on a giraffe at the Mara.

Nobody is refuting that your life has changed, that you're so loaded. But then, no matter how much mullah you make, no giraffe is gonna allow you to sit on it's back.
Mara giraffes don't give a shit whether you work for AIM global or not. They don't care if you make 20k in a day, they will kick you and continue grazing or browsing. Whatever giraffes do as a pastime??

Who lied to you?? Somehow you think that wearing suits now you've made it in life. Well, wearing suits certainly raises heads. But once you add AIM global into the equation, you're busted. We certainly know that you borrowed it or it's Photoshop. We don't trust you people.

There's a guy I know who had been in touch with this "hot" lady. He met on Facebook and from their conversations, he was sure to hit the jackpot.

So he went to meet her.

The shock of his life.

Girl didn't look anything like her photos. During their meet, she kept talking of online marketing. How it could change their lives if he invested 20k on it. Homeboy couldn't take it no more, he cleared the bill and left.

Hello online marketers, most of us don't care about the your online business. We don't give a fuck if you make 20k or 25k in day. All we ask is you stop sending us those lousy texts. Make your 25k in peace. Continue changing your lives, but please let us be.

We're broke Kenyans. Fuel prices are ripping us apart but we still believe in hard work. We want to sweat it out on the road less taken and make something out of ourselves.

Don't screenshot us Mpesa messages to show us how you have received 11k from AIM Global. We receive much bigger amounts from Sportpesa but we don't make a fuss about it. Quietly, without drama, we blow it on slayqueens and booze. After it's finished, the circle rolls on.

Life continues.

There's a beauty in working for something. But you online marketers are taking us for lousy ride. Maybe I am crazy, maybe I don't understand shit. Or maybe you work so hard but we don't seem to see it, nobody will ever know for sure?? Future generations might understand, but for us, it's case closed.

Yours truly.

Osoch Ogun.

Photo credits [@thee_savage_royalty]
To more life brother.

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